Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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