my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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