nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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