im gay
i know
yea but for you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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