Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
