Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize