TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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