Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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