Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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