I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Even my vagina gasped.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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