Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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