It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
