There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
pray to the hookup gods
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