What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
