i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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