Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
