Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
