I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
ttyl tear gas
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
