You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
