meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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