i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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