i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
