Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
