haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
