dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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