Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
