Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize