I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
