JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
