This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
