Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
