So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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