You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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