I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
