He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
