sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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