Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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