I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
