none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
