I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
