Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
