i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
