Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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