At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
