no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think a kid would responsible me up
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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