Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize