On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
