his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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