it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
