Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
