Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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