Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
