i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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