After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
