Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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