I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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