That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
