I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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