Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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