If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
