I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize