Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize