Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
