I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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