I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You pole danced in your parka.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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