btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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